I'll Be There
by darknightxday
Summary: After a heartbreak, Tsuna seeks comfort from his pen pal. More detailed summary inside. AU. past 8027; 5927; 8018.
1. Chapter 1

_Prologue:_

The better summary: After Tsuna has his heart broken by Yamamoto, he relies on his only remaining friend: his pen pal from Italy, Bomb-kun (a.k.a Gokudera o-o;;). Little does Tsuna know that Gokudera will be closer to him than anyone has ever been before. Will he be able to accept the rebel for who he is, or will he continue to spiral into the depths of his depression?

DISCLAIMER: OF COURSE I DON'T OWN.

Short A/N: Inspired by a couple of songs (including I'll Be There by Taeyong) 8DD And I haven't even seen anyone who wrote about pen pals -ego grows more- just saying: this is AU...

Anyway. enjoy the prologue. and sorry, can't update Keep The Faith till next week ; A ; I've got to proofread it first, gomen!

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><p>It was spring time in Namimori, and Tsuna was watching the cherry blossoms float down at his local park. He tapped his pencil against his arm a couple of times, nervous. It was his first time with a pen pal who didn't live in Japan.<p>

His pen pal's nickname was 'Bomb'. Tsuna was so agitated when they called on him for his nickname that he blurted out 'Tuna!' for no reason. Everyone stared at him weirdly. He was officially Dame-Tsuna from then on. The only person who was still friends with him was Yamamoto…Tsuna blushed while thinking of his best friend turned boyfriend.

_They were only together for a couple of months, but it felt like ten years of bliss to Tsuna. Yamamoto and Tsuna always hung out together, and they understood each other perfectly. They never got into any fights, and they always had fun when they were together. It could have been described as 'a match made from heaven'. Even their classmates knew that they were perfect for each other. _

_Every day they walked around the school together, Yamamoto chattering cheerfully about his day, while Tsuna listened patiently, watching the cherry blossoms float gently down. Sometimes, he even saw a bird or two. He never noticed a glowering prefect glaring at him from the Disciplinary Committee office. _

_Then, one day, they were just walking together peacefully. Yamamoto suddenly took hold of Tsuna's hand. Tsuna blinked at Yamamoto and blushed slightly. _

"_Y-Yamamoto?" Tsuna had asked nervously, his eyebrows drawing together. Yamamoto smiled gently at Tsuna and asked, "Do you want to try to be…together?"_

Tsuna sighed as he remembered the beginning of their relationship. He hoped they would never have to be separated, ever. It would kill him, surely. Tsuna shook his head quickly, and turned his attention back to his letter to Bomb-kun. He scribbled a few more lines of polite talk, and then asked Bomb-kun more about himself. _What's your favorite color, Bomb-kun? And your favorite food? What about your favorite ice-cream flavor? _Tsuna paused. He supposed that he was being a bit nosy, asking Bomb-kun all of these questions but never really talking about himself. Tsuna continued writing.

_Alright, I'll stop asking about you now, since that would mean I'm nosy, right? Haha, so I'll tell you a bit about myself. I like hanging out with my friend Yamamoto, because I don't really have many friends…ah well, my favorite number is 27, my favorite color is orange, and I really want a pet one day. What about you Bomb-kun? Do you have a pet already? Oh, I just asked you more questions, didn't I?_ Tsuna sighed, he just couldn't seem to stop asking questions.

He finished writing his pen pal letter and stuck it in an envelope with a picture of himself, as required. It was a picture Yamamoto took of him, laughing . He thought he looked kind of goofy in it, so he put in another picture of him looking (slightly) more serious. He sealed the envelope and got up from his bench. He watched the cherry blossoms float down gently for a couple of moments.

Then, whistling, he started to exit the park.

Of course, he didn't notice Yamamoto and Hibari sitting beneath a tree together.

Holding hands.

He was still whistling when he got home and checked his voicemail.

Then, his smile dropped from his face.

And before he knew it, salty tears streamed down his face and he ran up to his room, his heart broken.

Shattered in a million pieces.

Crushed.

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><p>Tsuna opened his eyes to complete blackness. His tears had dried on his face, making his face hard to move. Tsuna felt oddly empty, devoid of any emotion. It felt like he had run out of tears, out of his will to live…out of everything.<p>

Suddenly, there was a blaze of light directly in front of him. Tsuna closed his eyes, blinded, and felt a blast of wind rush pass him that smelt faintly of honey and cinnamon. Tsuna opened his eyes cautiously. A duplicate of himself stood in front of him. Tsuna blinked. Everything about the person in front of him was exactly the same as…he looked down at himself. Even the clothes were the same.

Then Tsuna looked at the person closely. No, the other person had deep amber eyes, while he himself only had a drab brown. And…he was wearing strange looking gloves with large 'X's on them. There also happened to be a large, flickering flame on his alter ego's forehead.

"Tsuna-kun." The other person said simply. Tsuna shivered. The other person's voice was way deeper than his.

"It seems you have given away part of yourself to someone else. So, now you are shattered. A fragment of yourself is missing; the most important part of yourself." The boy walked forward and stopped a breath away from Tsuna. He touched the place where Tsuna's heart beat, slow and steady.

"Your heart, Tsuna-kun. That's what has been taken away from you." The boy looked into Tsuna's eyes. Tsuna looked deep within the other boy's eyes and saw nothing but concern and love for him. And Tsuna decided to trust him.

"H-How should I get it back?" Tsuna whispered, feeling empty and hollow. Aching for something to care about. To cry about. To smile about.

The other boy smiled at him. Tsuna felt a bit warmer inside.

"You must find someone else to care about. Someone else to love. They will be the one to heal you. They will care about you more than you will ever know. Remember Tsuna, love your neighbor as you love yourself. And then, you will find the one…the person just for you." The boy smiled at Tsuna and began to fade away. Tsuna felt like he was saying goodbye to the only person who understood him, who would care for him always.

"Wait! When will I see you again? What's your name?" Tsuna called in a flat voice, but he wished that he could voice his desperation. The boy laughed, and it sounded soothing to Tsuna.

"You may call me Tsunayoshi…Tsuna-kun. I hope we meet again soon…" Tsunayoshi faded away, leaving Tsuna alone.

Tsuna felt lost. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to be carried away.

It was dark again.

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><p>AN:

Yes. I am Catholic xD and I did read Chobits. First chapter will come tomorrow or Tuesday~

originally, I wasn't going to put the scene with HDW Tsuna, but hey. What the heck. Didn't want a cliff hanger, since most of the time...I write cliff hangers. and it's the prologue, so...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: sorry for the late update ; A ; I said I was gonna update on Tuesday…then it became Wednesday, etc. Sorry! I had homework, tests, my mom grounding me, etc. so all that delayed me typing this chapter up. =w= well. actually, I've decided to combine chapters one and two to make this chapter longer, with BOTH Tsuna and Gokudera's views~ Hopefully, you guys like this chapter.

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><p><em>When I'm aimless, going on the road stretching to the east<em>

_The one who accompanies me is only my shadow alone; and I advance_

_In my fate circulating endlessly and far, far away_

_I search for my incomplete heart and wander aimlessly_

-Kagamine Len; Kimi o Sagsu Sora (The Sky where I Search for You) _Part one of Synchronicity_

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><p>Tsuna woke up breathing hard, feeling the warm sunshine wash over his face. He blinked several times, adjusting to the sudden brightness of the day after being in the dark prison of his dreams. He yawned, feeling tired. It felt like he didn't get any sleep at all even though he was sure he had slept at least the minimum eight hours. It was his recurring nightmare about falling into blackness. He'd had it ever since the day in the park, which happened weeks ago.<p>

He rubbed his eyes tiredly, wishing he could just go back to bed. He didn't feel like he was ready for a new day yet; it felt like the world was waging war with him in his head. His headache throbbed again, reminded him that there was something called aspirin to help him.

Blearily, he rubbed his eyes as he shuffled to the bathroom, yawning again. Tsuna opened his eyes fully, taking in his ruffled appearance.

Of course, Tsuna never considered himself to be the best looking of people, but he never thought he could look _this_ bad. He had sunken, charcoal gray bags under his eyes, his usually bright caramel colored eyes looked dull and lackluster, his hair was full of tangles and snarls, and one couldn't possibly miss the snot, dried tears, and sleep smeared all over his face. It was official: Tsuna looked like he had been to hell and back.

With a sigh, Tsuna tried to clean himself up. He washed his face, wincing when the dry snot became runny again. He ran a brush through his hair, attempting to make it look tamed (and failing). Tsuna looked at himself in the mirror once more. He looked slightly more normal. His bags looked more pronounced after his vigorous scrubbing, especially since his skin was pasty and pale.

Tsuna crept over to his mother's mom guiltily, grabbing her jar of concealer and raced back to his room, sweating slightly. He took some of the thick, white cream and rubbed it into his bags, making them more normal looking. He sighed again. There was no way to hide his bags completely, but that would have to do. Tsuna paused on the way out of the bathroom.

Tsuna stared at the tuna fish good luck charm Yamamoto had given to him weeks ago. He remembered all of the memories that he tried to make himself forget. He felt an enormous ache where his heart was, and tried to stifle a gasp when sharp stabs of pain began to batter his body. Tsuna doubled over, holding his stomach protectively as he coughed painfully, spitting bright, red blood onto the light brown wood floor.

Tsuna lay there, gasping for breath, tears starting to flow down his cheeks once more as the pains began to fade in their intensity . The splash of blood looked bright and accusing against the plain wood floor. Tsuna stared at the bright spot, his tears dripping down around it. He lay there, panting, wishing his heart was less fragile. Even though he knew that Yamamoto took something important from him, he could not hate him, as most people would. He knew that deep inside, there would always be a part of him that would love Yamamoto.

A few minutes later, he got up and stumbled into the bathroom, wiping his face again. He mopped up the blood on the floor and got dressed for school. His mom said good morning to him, and he tried to reply cheerfully and smile, but it looked more like a grimace. Nana said nothing, but inwardly, she was worried for her son. She had heard him crying every night when after he came home. But she said nothing. Nana wasn't the type of person who pried into things.

Tsuna ate his breakfast silently, not really tasting what he was eating. He thanked his mom for the meal and left slowly, feeling Nana's concerned gaze on his retreating back. He glanced at his watch, noting that he was still late, even though he was sure he had woken up earlier than usual.

Tsuna looked around while walking, noticing the cherry blossom trees when he walked past the park. He remembered the days when he used to be a naïve boy, believing in love. His empty heart thumped in his chest monotonously, doing its job to keep him alive, but nothing more.

Ever since Tsunayoshi had visited him, everything had been different. Colors were faded and ugly. People's faces became mediocre blurs, not worth remembering. Tsuna used to do badly in school, but now he was even worse. He was constantly nodding off in class, lulled into sleep by the dull drone of the teacher's voice.

Tsuna couldn't bring himself to care about life anymore. Yamamoto still talked to him and treated him as a friend, but it wasn't the same as it was before. It seemed as if they were still friends, but underneath it all, was a large chasm that separated him from his old friend. Tsuna saw this chasm every time he was with Yamamoto. It was a large misty blanket that seemed to cover the space between them. Tsuna could see a silver shard glimmering where Yamamoto's heart was, surrounded by a wave of blue ice. He knew that was the piece of his heart that Tsunayoshi had talked about. It was still embedded in Yamamoto, left there by the lingering love Tsuna had for him.

He didn't know how to get that piece of himself back. He wandered around aimlessly, nice to everyone. Yet no face stood out to him, no face remembered in the fog of his mind. The only faces that were clear to him were his mom's, Yamamoto's, and strangely, the Head Prefect's, Hibari Kyouya.

Tsuna had known that Yamamoto was with Hibari now. He had seen them hang out together at lunch, while he sat alone in the classroom, everyone else chattering with their friends around him. It seemed liked he was isolated in the middle, an island of loneliness within an ocean of strangers. Of course, since Yamamoto used to be his only friend in school, he never talked to anyone in school. When teachers called on him, he always had a wrong answer to give them. That's why everyone called him Dame-Tsuna, or stupid Tsuna.

He always laughed it off and pretended to go along with it, but inside he always felt sad that he couldn't get along better with his classmates, that he didn't have any friends. But he was okay with it, because he had Yamamoto.

Tsuna sighed as he walked into school. Another day of…everything again, Tsuna sighed as he sat down, trying to look interested at the new lecture the teacher was giving. Luckily, Yamamoto wasn't in his first class of the morning, so he wouldn't have any chest pains and aches. Finally, after a solid 15 minute lecture on the geography of Italy, the teacher passed out pen pal letters.

Tsuna stared at the letter that was on his desk. A breeze swept into the room from an open window. It brought the faint smell of cigarettes and cheap, vaguely spicy cologne from the letter to Tsuna's nose. Tsuna sniffed again, curious. It had been awhile since he had been able to smell anything. He hadn't been hallucinating, the smell got slightly stronger.

Tsuna smiled. The person who wrote him the letter must be one of those rebel people that Tsuna thought were scary, but pretty cool nonetheless. He carefully opened the letter, sending a strong waft of cigarette smell into his nostrils. He smiled again, glad to be able to smell anything, even cigarettes. Tsuna smoothed the letter on the desk, eyes squinting to read the cramped, spiky writing that slashed across the page.

_Dear Tuna (you weirdo. do you have an obsession with fish or something?),_

_write in better Italian. you stink at it, I could barely even understand what you wrote! dammit, Japanese these days. they think they're better than everyone else, eh? well, whatever. I guess you could call me Bomb, but don't expect us to be best friends or somethin' like that, okay? I bet you're a wimp, you write like a girl. whatever. you seem nice enough, I guess. but don't expect me to answer all of your questions every time you feel like asking some, got it? my favorite color's red, my favorite food is spaghetti, and my favorite ice-cream flavor is vanilla. and yeah I do have a pet. it's a cat named Uri. well, Tuna at least we have one thing in common: we don't have friends. it's fine though, I guess I could consider you a friend. writing this letter is less boring than paying attention to the stupid teacher anyhow. wow. you now have two friends. me and that (probably weird) Yamamoto guy. you should feel pretty accomplished, huh? well I gotta go; there's a fight I need to go to so yeah. wimpy guys like you wouldn't know how to fight huh. so I guess there's no point in trying to discuss any fighting tactics with you. you seem like a naïve kid. you still have your parents, right? and younger siblings, probably. glad I don't have younger ones. I would probably beat 'em up or somethin'. later._

_Bomb_

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><p>Tsuna walked down the empty corridor, feeling emotionless inside, as usual. He had a sent a cheerful reply to Bomb, focusing a bit more on making his Italian understandable. He tried to be as friendly as possible and talk about regular things. Tsuna considered leaving the part where Yamamoto wasn't his friend anymore out, but he wrote it to Bomb anyway. It wasn't like they were going to see each other soon, so he felt safe to confide in his only comrade.<p>

Tsuna had felt an odd emotion when he saw the photo of himself Bomb had included. Apparently, when Tsuna asked his teacher about Bomb's ethnicity and was told that Bomb had been ¾ Italian and ¼ Japanese. Well. It still didn't explain Bomb's strange but striking looks.

Bomb had sent a picture of himself looking grumpily at the camera, cigarette still in mouth. He had silvery gray hair that just touched the middle of his neck, emerald green eyes that glittered angrily at the camera, and skin that looked like it had never seen the sun. He seemed to feel content wearing punk clothes, with tons of chains and…a pair of glasses rested in his front pocket. Tsuna smiled at the picture slightly, feeling amused. The glasses seemed just a touch too cute for Bomb. It was a standard wire frame that was lime green but was thicker around the edges of the lenses, suggesting a hidden inner nerd.

Tsuna snapped back into the present when he walked into a wall. He winced and rubbed his forehead. Then he continued walking. Dully, he gazed out the window, watching the sun peeking over the horizon, turning the sky orange. Orange. _My favorite color_, Tsuna thought. He paused in his walking to consider his thought. _Favorite. What does that mean again? I think it means the one you like most…but I'm not so sure anymore_…

Shrugging, Tsuna continued back to the classroom to grab his backpack. He was assigned cleaning duty today, and had to stay later than usual. Tsuna stopped just outside the classroom, hesitating. He heard voices speaking quietly to each other, and the creaking of chairs.

"Hm. What about that…_other_ herbivore you were with before?" Tsuna froze in his tracks, recognizing the voice that belonged to the Head of the Disciplinary Committee, Hibari Kyouya. He groaned silently when he remembered that Yamamoto always stayed behind for baseball practice and that Hibari always stayed behind because he had paperwork to do. _So much for avoiding Yamamoto for the rest of my life_, Tsuna thought to himself in resignation.

Silently, he peeked into the classroom. Yamamoto was sitting close to Hibari, playing with his hair. Tsuna felt his heart constrict painfully, remembering when it was Yamamoto playing with _his_ hair. He managed to hold off the cramps, doubling over slightly.

He felt great sadness coursing through him, the strongest emotion he had felt since the day in the park. Tsuna couldn't bring himself to feel jealous. Yamamoto was happy with Hibari, and that was all that mattered. He couldn't make himself try to get Yamamoto back together with him; as long as Yamamoto was happy, Tsuna knew that he would try to be normal too.

Tsuna closed his eyes, trying to control his ragged breathing.

"Oh, you mean Tsuna?" Yamamoto laughed cheerfully. His heart leapt at the sound of his name, the pain subsiding briefly. Tsuna watched, hoping. Begging for Yamamoto to give him back his heart. To love him back the way Tsuna loved him. Hibari narrowed his stormy gray eyes at Yamamoto.

"Yes. Him." He answered in a clipped tone, anger and jealously clear in his voice. Yamamoto smiled, wrapping his arms around Hibari's waist and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Aw, don't be jealous, Hibari. He means nothing to me anymore. Tsuna's just a friend."

Tsuna's world stuttered to a sickening halt. He could feel the rays of the dying sun hitting him, trying to melt the frozen shards of his heart. But it was no use, the fragile pieces of his heart that had carefully pieced themselves together when he was reading Bomb's letter shattered again, sending a splinter of pain rocketing through him. Tsuna collapsed onto his knees, tears dripping silently down his cheeks, splattering the floor soundlessly.

The world seemed to slow down around Tsuna, turning into shades of gray. He could only watch, in a daze, as Hibari brought Yamamoto's lips crashing down onto his own and completely ravish them. Yamamoto groaned breathlessly, gripping Hibari's body even closer to his own, fighting for dominance. Hibari smirked as he continued to kiss Yamamoto, opening his eyes, and looking directly at Tsuna, smirking cruelly.

Wide-eyed, Tsuna stumbled away from the door, his breaths coming in rapid bursts, pain burning through his entire body, almost collapsing. He struggled to control his rasping breath from becoming too loud and alerting Yamamoto to his presence. His face flushed crimson when he recalled Yamamoto and Hibari sharing their intense kiss in the classroom. He remembered every single detail of that moment; the way the sun shone around them, the specks of dust floating in the air, the cruel glint of light reflecting off of Hibari's sinister smile.

Tsuna tried to stagger away as fast as he could leaving a trail of salty tears in his wake, and as soon as he hit the fresh air outside, he began to hack up blood. The blood sprayed onto the ground, the crimson droplets sparkling like deadly rubies in the low sunlight. Tsuna brought his hand away from his mouth, a solid coating of blood dripping down onto the olive green grass. He continued to cry, trying to muffle the screams of pain that tried to force their way out of his throat.

As the agony of his pain grew, he was somehow thrown into the air for a split second. His eyes widened, staring at the sky blankly. He lay there, stunned for a moment as he felt his body jerk and spasm by itself. His back arched off the ground, his pained cry echoing through the empty baseball field. His temperature shot up to a dangerous point, where he could no longer control anything.

The sky dimmed to a dark gray as the pain in his body crescendoed to the point of no return. Silently, blood leaked out of the side of his mouth.

He was aware that his mind was shutting down, trying to avoid trauma, to protect itself. His memories of everything began to flicker rapidly, racing through his unguarded mind. Internally, Tsuna ran. He ran from his past. His fears. His dreams.

He could only wait and hope. Hope for the one just for him to save him from the dark abyss that he was tumbling towards. A pair of emerald green eyes glimmered through his mind before he was lost.

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><p><em>Here we go, come with me<em>

_There's a world out there that we should see_

_Take my hand, close your eyes_

'_Til then, let's fly; Geronimo_

_- Rocketeer ; Far East Movement_

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><p><em>Moments later<em>

A man stood silently at the edge of the baseball field, feet crunching on the twigs and sinking into the grass. He adjusted his fedora carefully over his eyes, watching the boy with the caramel eyes. He knew that the boy had much potential. But he also knew that the boy was missing something, something that would never allow him to activate his will. His dying will.

The man whispered something to the bright green chameleon that was perched on the brim of his fedora. The lizard blinked it's yellow eyes lazily, acknowledging the man's statement. Strangely, the chameleon turned into a gun.

The man smirked, his eyes shadowed. He knew that the only person to heal the boy was his own nephew, the boy with the emerald eyes. His nephew was also missing that special something that would enable him to unlock his potential. So, he decided to himself, he would somehow arrange it. He would arrange for them to meet.

Of course, little did he know that they had already met, in the form of pen pals.

The man stepped out from the shadows, going towards the bloodied boy who was missing a heart.

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><p>Gokudera laughed roughly, throwing out another round of dynamite. The opposing gang scattered in a panic, screaming as the bombs went off. Gokudera grinned at his fellow team members as they ran away from the scene, police sirens coming closer to their area. He allowed himself to be separated from them as they slowed down to drift through the crowd. Gokudera felt the almost maniac grin slip from his face, a sigh escaping his lips. <em>It's pretty hard keeping up that tough guy façade,<em> he thought to himself in resignation. _But…I think I've already lost who I used to be…_

Gokudera leaned against the side of one of the shops on the main street, lighting a cigarette absentmindedly. He watched the crowd of murmuring people sweep by lazily, reading the Italian signposts. He closed his eyes, taking a deep drag of the cigarette, blowing out a puff of smoke wearily. He felt like he had aged a thousand years in the past few months. He had started to participate in gang fights because there had been nothing else to do with his life. His father was an alcoholic wreck who like beating up children, and his step-sister, though pitying him, did nothing about it.

Gokudera missed his mother, the one light in his dark life. She had been his ray of sunshine, guiding him through his lonely life. When she had died in a car accident, he had been horrified. Broken. It had taken him years to get over it. He knew that he had never been able to love anyone else like the way he had cherished his mother. He always secretly believed in the concept of falling in love, but he knew it would never happen to him; he had sinned too many times, and no matter how hard to prayed, he knew that in real life, God wasn't as forgiving as many people made Him out to be.

Gokudera took one last puff of the cigarette, and stubbed it out under the toe of his battered and blood-stained converse. He yawned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He winced when his hand accidentally brushed against one of his numerous cuts he received from the recent battle. He ripped a piece of cloth off his shirt and made a makeshift bandage for it. It was one of the deeper cuts he had. Gokudera glanced at the giant clock at the end of the street and decided it wasn't too late to get some gelato, so he headed over to the store, pausing by the schoolhouse that was next to it.

The schoolhouse itself was plain, with red bricks and a wood door, with two windows in the front and a battered sign that hung over it that read in faded gold letters, '59th House of the Vongola'. Inside, it was also quite plain, but very clean, and it had a homey feel to it. The children that went there were of all ages, the youngest being 5 and the oldest being 29. They accepted any and every one. Not only did they teach basic math and Italian, they offered a special advanced language course and self-defense class that many of the kids took.

Most of the people who went to the school had no idea that the 59th House of the Vongola was a school where kids could be recruited to join a special organization called the Vongola. They even got paid, which was a lot better than some of the jobs they could have taken.

Gokudera himself was part of the Vongola, but he hadn't done any of the special missions in a long time, partly because none had been offered to him and partly because he couldn't bring himself to enter the worn school house ever since he had failed to protect one of the little ones who had gotten killed when a crazed psycho had somehow managed to break in.

Gokudera swore on that day that he would always protect those who were weaker than him. He had seen the look on the little boy's face when he had been stabbed…and to think he could have protected him! He still felt ashamed that he hadn't moved when the man had come in. He had been afraid. Gokudera now knew that fear wasn't acceptable. If fear ruled your life, you would never survive.

Gokudera took a deep breath, steeled himself, and pushed the creaky door open. It was almost empty, but the teacher sitting at the desk was a familiar one, at least. She looked up and smiled widely at Gokudera, who was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. She stood up and went over to hug Gokudera who blushed slightly and muttered uncomfortably under his breath.

"Gokudera-kun! It's been awhile since I've seen you. You look well, but tell me dear, how've you been?" The woman asked happily, smiling at Gokudera. Gokudera couldn't help but grin back.

"I-I've been good, Luce-sensei. How've the kids been? And the other teachers? Oh yeah, what about my annoying uncle Reborn? And the stupid cow?" Gokudera asked, looking around for some familiar faces. Luce cleared her throat and leaned close to Gokudera and whispered into his ear,

"Everyone's good. Now, I have something to give you…" She winked at him, and quickly walked towards her desk, trying to go as fast as she could. Gokudera stared at her enormous baby bump in awe. He had no idea how women could balance with a baby on their stomach. Really. It had to be magic. He saw Luce rummaging in her desk drawer, humming a tune.

Gokudera wondered what Luce was looking for when he remembered getting a letter from someone in Japan a couple of days ago. He had gotten it in the mail from his uncle Colonello who was on duty in Japan. He was told that the 59th House of Vongola was participating in a pen pal program with a school in Japan called Namimori Middle. Since there weren't many older students at the 59th House, Colonello decided that Gokudera was still going there and gave him the letter.

He had opened it, and some sheets of paper dropped onto the floor. He bent down to pick them up and caught a glimpse of the picture in the envelope and swore his heart skipped a beat. His eyes widened and he completely forgot about picking up the papers that dropped on the floor.

The boy in the picture was cute, sure, with the tousled chocolate bedhead hair and liquid caramel eyes, but what really made Gokudera stare was the air of innocence that seemed to emit around the boy. He could tell that the boy was a kind person, even through a photograph. His eyes stayed glued to the photo as he attempted to stare down the boy.

He looked into the envelope and found another picture that made him blush a little. It was the boy again, and he was laughing. It looked like an angel had come down from heaven to mingle with humans. Gokudera's heart started to sound oddly loud to him. He sat down hard on his bed in his room, breathing a little shakily. _I...don't know why, his eyes are so hypnotizing...it feels like you can get lost in them by just staring into them. It's because they're filled with so much trust..._ Gokudera blinked, shaking his head unsteadily. _That felt weird._ He read the letter that the boy (apparently Tuna? What the hell?) had written to him.

He wasn't sure how he felt about Tuna. He decided to trust the guy a little. He wrote back a reply that sounded pretty good when he read it to himself. He took a picture of himself, hoping he wasn't blushing. He hated getting his picture taken.

Gokudera came back to the present when Luce touched his shoulder. He jumped a little, and she laughed.

"Sorry for startling you, Gokudera-kun. It's a letter from your pen pal, Tuna, was it? Well it arrived yesterday. Lal Mirch gave it to me." Lal Mirch was Colonello's commander. Gokudera had seen that woman beat his uncle up. It still gave him shivers. Gokudera nodded at Luce, and sat down at one of the desks and ripped the envelope open. Luce said nothing, though gave him an amused glance.

Gokudera read the letter quickly, then read it again. He didn't know why, but he felt oddly warm when Tuna said he considered him his only friend. He shook the feeling off, knowing he felt proud that he had a new...er friend. Gokudera turned to Luce who was sitting at her desk again.

"Luce-sensei, where's uncle Reborn? Found it weird that he wasn't lurking around here like the pedophile he is," Gokudera commented, smirking a little when he realized that nothing hit him from anywhere, so it meant that Reborn wasn't in the area. He always found his uncle's mind reading ability kinda freaky.

"Reborn…had something to talk to you about. But you came a little too late, he left for Japan a few hours ago." Luce replied, taking a big chomp out of the spaghetti Bolognese that sat on her desk while reading. Gokudera nodded and stood up, stretching. He had to get back home soon before it got dark or else he would run into the late night gangsters. He didn't feel like fighting again so soon.

"Take care, Luce-sensei," Gokudera called, leaving the 59th House. He heard Luce shouted something that sounded like 'Ciao!' but he couldn't be sure. He stopped at the gelato shop and bought a vanilla flavored one. He liked the simple flavor better than all of the other flavors. He finished his gelato quickly and walked home, stopping in front of a battered building that had seen better days.

He knew it was a mistake to come back early the minute he stepped into the living room. His father was sitting there, whiskey bottle in hand, watching some Italian soap. Gokudera froze, his emerald green eyes freezing on his father. Gokudera's father looked up, his bloodshot eyes piercing Gokudera's.

"Hello, shooounen (boy) ~ N-Nice of you to come back n-now," Gokudera's father slurred, taking a big swig out of the whiskey bottle. He stood up abruptly, staggering forward towards Gokudera at a frightening speed. Gokudera stepped backwards quickly, fear starting to appear on his face.

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><p>As his father left the room laughing, Gokudera lay dazedly leaning on the wall, his blood dripping everyone. The room seemed to be stained crimson because of how many times his father had beaten him in it. Gokudera felt dizzy and weak. He knew that many of his smaller bones were probably fractured. He let out a broken laugh, his breath wheezing out of his chest. It seemed ironic that he could beat up total strangers without mercy, yet not lift a finger to stop his own father from beating him bloody.<p>

Bitterly, he was reminded of how things used to be before his mother died. Before his father became an alcoholic bastard who cared nothing about his children. Before he stopped believing that love existed.

Gokudera slowly lifted his battered body up and out of the room, leaving a trail of crimson blood behind him, dragging himself into the closet in his room and shutting the door. He dropped to the floor, panting and sweaty. He dragged a hand through his silvery gray hair, wincing when he felt some of his fingers protest. _Damn. Can't believe he fractured my fingers this time_. Gokudera grimly began to put himself back together, wrapping bandages around himself neatly, applying bandages and antiseptic and even setting some of his bones back to their proper places.

He dropped his head onto his chest, wishing for the empty ache in it to go away. Silently, a single tear dripped down his cheek, sparkling in the dim light. Angrily, he tried to wipe it away. Instead, he paused, remembering the boy in the photo, Tuna. Didn't Tuna say that he was his only friend now? He had to be strong for Tuna. For his only friend. He slowly staggered to his feet, opening the door of his closet and slowly flopping onto the bed. His determined gaze slowly met the gaze of the boy with the caramel eyes.

Even though Gokudera only knew him for a short period of time, he vowed to protect the innocent boy with the chocolate hair. As he drifted off to sleep, all he remembered was a pair of amber eyes staring at him in approval.

Even though he was sure he didn't know anyone with amber eyes, he had a distinct impression he had met the amber eyed boy somewhere.

"Thank you...you are the one just for him," He heard a voice whisper, and then it was dark.

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><p>YES! finally done~ whew, my longest chapter I've ever written (technically it's two chapters put together, but whatever...<p>

what do you think? please review and point out any spelling / grammar errors because I'm self-betaed ;D

hopefully, I'll have another chapter out in a couple of weeks. ciao!


	3. Chapter 3

hello again ~ another chapter for all you folks ;3

thank you for all the review and faves and alerts ; w ; makes me so happy to see them!

and a reply to **OrangeHeart** 's question : yeah, Tsuna feels physical pain when his heart err 'acts up' . erm... let's see, well, you know how I mentioned that Tsuna's missing part of his heart? It has something to do with that xD more will be explained later... =3=

kind of a short chapter , hopefully the next one will be longer DD;

another question for you guys : how long do you think this story should be? P: I'm thinking 10-15 chapters should be enough ~

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><p><em>3 months later<em>

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><p>Tsuna woke up with a start, sitting up in confusion. He looked around, his eyes brows drawing together. His memories of a certain day three months ago were oddly jumbled and mixed together, and he had strange dreams about it. Every time he had woken up the past 3 months confused him more. He couldn't quite put a finger on what happened the day he collapsed on the baseball field.<p>

He had ended up being hospitalized. Nana had been worried sick about what had happened to her son, and even Iemitsu had visited to enquire about Tsuna. Tsuna had assured them that he was okay, he wasn't being bullied or anything, etc. One person he didn't expect to visit him was Hibari. Hibari had looked at him with thinly veiled disgust, but mumbled,

"Herbivores aren't allowed to die on school property. I came to check that you were still alive. Hmph." He had thrown Tsuna a small bundle and promptly left.

Tsuna opened the bundle, wary of something that might attack him (perhaps the pet porcupine that Hibari kept?) but it was just a stack of onigiri and a letter from Yamamoto wishing him a quick recovery. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Tsuna respected that Yamamoto had baseball...but really?

He had gotten so many letters from his pen pal Bomb-kun that he had trouble keeping up with all of them. Tsuna was kind of disturbed at first, but got used to them and had relied on Bomb-kun as a close friend. He was glad that he had Bomb-kun to talk to, even though the hot-headed Italian tended to curse a lot, threaten all the people who wanted to beat him up, and call him Boss for some random reason. Tsuna laughed at all of Bomb-kun's unusual quirks and ended up liking Bomb-kun more because of them.

The doctors were all puzzled why he had ended up coughing blood and collapsing, saying that there was a high possibility that he might have died that day. They wanted to keep him there longer, but Nana had demanded Tsuna be released as soon as possible. The nurses were sad about that. They thought Tsuna was the cutest patient they ever had.

So, now Tsuna was back living in his house. He had received some pills to take just in case he felt like he was going to collapse again. Tsuna continued to think about the day he collapsed. He had some vague memories about what had happened, the clearest one being of a blurry man shoving (none too gently) a small bottle of blue candy into his hand. Tsuna had promptly fainted after the encounter. All he remembered hearing was the man's deep chuckle and a cut off sentence :

"—Hayato will like him, you known what he's like, Luce."

Tsuna had puzzled over the statement for days. Who was this shadowy Hayato character?

Either way, he had gotten over his deadly attack from that day. He never had another one that was as intense as the one that made him collapse, but he knew that he could always have one the moment his heart decided to.

Tsuna suspected that he had unconsciously shielding himself from all of Yamamoto and Hibari's PDA.

He knew that it still hurt him; he went to the bathroom every two periods to cough up blood in the toilet. If there had been particularly graphic affection (i.e. groping and other things that made Tsuna blush madly when he recalled them), he threw up larger amounts of blood, not enough to be fatal, but enough to make him feel dizzy and light headed.

Tsuna constantly stumbled around in a daze, head spinning from blood loss. Yamamoto had once actually shown some concern for him. He had stopped Tsuna in the hallway and asked him how he was. Tsuna avoided looking at Yamamoto and mumbled something good about his health (obviously a lie) while his heart leapt joyfully in his chest. Tsuna tried not to fidget too badly.

Yamamoto laughed. "Tsuna, why aren't you looking at me? Aren't we still friends? Tsuna knew the attack coming, felt his muscles freeze up, his heart thump wildly in his chest, painfully constricting. He managed a weak smile and looked Yamamoto in eyes, feeling sad...and slightly betrayed by his own emotions. _Get over him already!_ He shouted at himself. _He's with Hibari already! Stop hoping for another chance!_

"Yeah. We are," He didn't want to stay any longer, in case his attack started. Tsuna gave Yamamoto another sad smile and ran off towards the bathroom, unaware that Yamamoto was still staring after him, a peculiar look on his face. He had seen a deep sadness in Tsuna's eyes, something that was never there before. The innocence was still there, but it seemed to be tainted slightly.

Yamamoto's usually happy and carefree face contorted with confusion. He hesitated, almost following Tsuna, but caught a glimpse of Hibari going around a corner, making him completely forget about the boy with the caramel eyes. He hurried towards Hibari, a wide grin on his face once more.

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><p><em>Italy<em>

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><p>Gokudera was up at the crack of dawn, wanting to avoid any beatings form his dad. Luckily, he had managed to avoid the bastard for a record 3 months already, but wasn't counting the time his dad has barged into his room and... Gokudera shook his head hurriedly. It had taken him days to clean out the blood stains from his sheets.<p>

Gokudera hurriedly changed into some random clothes that were lying around after changing the dressings on his injuries. He always had a collection of cuts and scrapes from constantly being in gang fights, though he had stopped fighting often because he didn't want to die on his closest friend, Tuna.

Wincing when he bumped into a dresser, upsetting his ribs, he paused, a gentle smile appearing on his face. If anyone saw, they would have thought Gokudera looked like an angel of some sort, though his foul mouth would ruin that illusion.

"Morning, Tuna," Gokudera whispered softly, tenderly stroking the chocolate colored hair of the boy in the picture. He came back to his senses moments later, jumping back from the picture hurriedly, blushing slightly. He tucked the photo of Tuna into the back of his jeans, still blushing.

"I'll get stronger to defend you today, Tuna!" Gokudera vowed, stuffing bombs into his pockets and strapping them on various parts of his body. He fed his pet cat Uri quickly, stopping to pet her even when she attempted to scratch him. Quietly, he snuck past his snoring father, who had a line of drool snacking down his unshaven chin.

Gokudera paused, eying his father. He sighed in defeat. Gokudera crept over to his dad, gently took the empty bottle hanging from his father's hand and draping a blanket over the slumbering man. _Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother with that son of a bitch_, Gokudera thought to himself in resignation. _Maybe Tuna is starting to rub off on me with all his talk of forgiving and shit_.

He left, feeling like he had done the right thing. He patrolled the edge of his gang's territory, lighting a cigarette. Gokudera thought about visiting the 59th House later, nodding to himself. He then mulled over the thought of quitting the gang. _Maybe I could work part-time at the 59__th__ House? _He wondered absentmindedly, blowing out a ring of smoke. After a couple more deep puffs, Gokudera noticed that seemed to be surrounded...by his own gang. He calmly surveyed them, eying their drawn switchblades and various other weapons of choice. He realized they were about to attack him. He wasn't so calm anymore.

"What the hell, asshats?" Gokudera spat angrily, slapping his cigarette to the ground and grinding it pitilessly into ashes. His gang, consisting of roughly 10 people, including Ken, Chikusa, M.M., Birds, Lancia, and some goons that he didn't know by name. The goons came and went, but he had known the rest for most of his life. They had been decent friends. Ever since he started to write to Tsuna though, things had started to change. They had started to grow distant.

"Gokudera-san, we are going to have to eliminate you. You have been reported going to the 59th House of Vongola, which is causing our reputation to drop. This is unacceptable, and will not be tolerated," Chikusa replied in a monotone voice, whipping out two seemingly innocent yo-yos. Gokudera knew they shot out lethal needles that could kill you if they hit the right places. Innocent, indeed.

"Fuck you! I thought we had each other's backs, that reputations didn't matter! Looks like you bastards are nothing but damn pussies," Gokudera snarled, whipping out sticks of dynamite from nowhere._ This might get a bit rough_, he thought as weapons started to fly, and the deadly killing dance began.

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><p><em>Japan<em>

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><p>Tsuna retched, blood pushing itself out of his throat against his will. Tsuna panted, holding onto the toilet desperately as the waves of pain began to roll through his body. He could barely get through the last wave of cramps, vomiting and heartache.<p>

Distantly, he heard the bell ring, signaling the start of the next period. He laid his head wearily on the cold porcelain. _Can't go to class like this! I'm such a mess, everyone will be wondering if I'm a freak or something..._

"Shoot, I-I can't take this..." Tsuna coughed, blood spurting into the waiting toilet. He could feel more blood pushing to rush up his throat. Numbly, Tsuna braced himself, fighting to push Yamamoto's naïve question to the back of his mind, to erase it from his brain even, anything to stop the pain he was feeling. _Aren't we still friends, Tsuna?_

Tsuna heaved, blood gushing out of his mouth, toxic ruby red against pure snow white. He didn't know how long he stood there, bracing himself on the toilet, continuing to vomit blood. Tsuna only knew he was getting dizzier and dizzier. He coughed feebly, running out of breath rapidly.

Finally, he remembered the pills the doctor gave him. The ones that stopped him from collapsing. He had kept them in his pockets for emergencies for weeks. Desperately, he fumbled for them. He pried the top open, and found that he had grabbed the wrong case of pills that morning.

They were the blue candy pills that the mysterious man had given him. All hope had vanished from Tsuna's mind. _Well, if I'm going to die, I might as well try these candies out now, I guess_, Tsuna thought to himself humorlessly. He quickly shook one into his palm, hesitated for a second, feeling the blood start to well up again, then threw his back and swallowed it.

It tasted of artificial bubble gum. Tsuna cringed at the badly covered up taste and waiting for something, anything to happen. Nothing. If anything, his cramps got more intense, making him gasp for breath, doubling over. Tears prickled in his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time that day. His heart stopped for a split second longer than usual, making him freeze up in agony. But as suddenly as the intense attack came, it ended.

Tsuna felt slightly different. In fact, he felt more than just slightly different. He felt...tingly. Warm. Strong. He stood up abruptly, wiping the blood from his face . He stared at the toilet for a moment, and then flushed it, gazing at the blood swirling down the drain nonchalantly. Almost casually, Tsuna stepped out of the stall and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

He noticed the changes that the medicine gave him. Calmly assessing amber eyes. A warm, flickering flame on his forehead. And strangely, a pair of gloves had appeared on his hands. Tsuna thought he looked familiar, but shrugged, dismissing his thoughts. Nobody he knew looked exactly like him. He heard a deep chuckle from behind him, as if someone thought his thoughts were amusing. He spun around and smashed a hole through the stall behind him, revealing...no one.

Tsuna sighed, then shrugged again. As long as he was better, he supposed that he didn't care if he was hallucination or not. _Must be a side effect of the medication the man gave me_, Tsuna thought indifferently.

Tsuna left the bathroom, walking purposefully towards his classroom. He glanced at the clock; five minutes had passed since he swallowed the pill. All of a sudden, right before he was about to open the door to his classroom, his vision blurred. He stumbled back a little, and hit the wall opposite to the classroom door.

Tsuna slumped against the wall, the warm feeling in his body dissipating. All of a sudden, he found that he didn't have enough air to breathe again. Gasping for breath, his vision flickered. He knew the pill's effect was fading off. As his body's pains grew once more, he tumbled into the darkness, never hearing the bell ring and Yamamoto frantically calling his name.

Tsuna prayed for a light to guide him through the darkness of his world. A savior.

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><p><em>Italy<em>

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><p>Gokudera smirked as he recalled the recent. A second later, he cursed his luck that it had started to rain as well. He sat in the rain, staring into the gray clouds that hid the beautiful blue sky from his eyes. He had managed to defeat most of the gang and then run, but his injuries were pretty much going to kill him, he knew.<p>

Gokudera had no way of stopping the blood flow of the wound on his abdomen. He leaned his head against the brick wall, laughing a little brokenly. All those years surviving his father's beat downs, only to get done in by his friends. How ironic. It seemed like God had no pity for sinners, even someone who was trying to reform. Someone who had seen the light. Someone like him.

_I suppose I should just end my own damn life now_, Gokudera thought, weakly sliding a stick of dynamite out. He lit it, watching it burn, almost in slow motion. It seemed like it was slowly burning down to the bomb, where it would blow him to smithereens, a splat of blood against the brick wall. Gokudera closed his eyes, praying the Our Father.

A pair of caramel eyes materialized in his head, almost pleading for him not to do it. To stop. To continue writing letters to him.

Gokudera smiled, he smiled his real smile. The special smile he had reserved for his special someone. _Tuna. I will become stronger for you._ He had seconds left. He finished the prayer in his mind.

_Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..._

**tbc...**

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><p>AN:

Yay for cliff hangers! Where will our dear Goku-chan be next? in heaven/hell or in a hospital? DD;

hurhurhur, I'll have another chapter out next week. It's my first time actually writing down the chapter before typing it lol ~

Review and tell me if you catch any mistakes ~ Thanks for the faves and alerts again, guys! And review keep me motivated, hint hint x)

ciao!~


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Hey kiddos! Long time no...write, I suppose. Sorry for the long hiatus, insert some sort of lame school related excuse here please. I'll try to update this fic every couple of weeks or so, but no promises, I'm afraid. This is the only fic I'm currently interested in finishing, so rest assured that you'll be getting new chapters **ASAP**. As usual, many thanks for any reviews/favs, and if you have any questions _that won't be answered later in the story_, I will reply to them at the end of chapters. Once again, much thanks for those of you who've still actually waited for me to update, haha. Also, I've noticed some grammatical errors in the previous chappies, so I might go back to fix them later. Might be a bit on the short side but...On with the chapter!

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><p><em>Japan<em>

Tsuna blinked groggily, shaking his head to get rid of the dazed feeling that seemed to appear after you wake up. Feeling numb, he lifted his right arm cautiously, seeing only an IV inserted in said arm, and felt around his head. Bandages. Of course.

Awareness slammed into him as he glanced around quickly to assess his current situation. It seemed as if he had ended up in the hospital. Again. This was becoming a rather unfortunate habit. Tsuna sighed in resignation, rubbing his forehead in a tired manner. He settled back into his uncomfortable hospital bed, closing his eyes briefly and just listening to the monotone sound of his steady heartbeat. Concentrating slightly, he attempted to bring up his last memories.

He had a fuzzy impression of...Yamamoto. His heart throbbed slightly in his chest, making Tsuna catch his breath. _Right...him_, Tsuna thought to himself. After the encounter, a blur of pain. Then...nothing. Tsuna frowned. That couldn't be right. Slowly, he wracked his brain for any little thing he might remember. Nothing, again.

Frustrated, Tsuna tried even harder to remember. He came across some sort of...block. All of a sudden, something seemed to push him back. Tsuna jolted as a split second of searing pain flashed through him, his heartbeat stuttering. Gasping for breath, and with a now growing headache, he opened his eyes and sat up, trying not to throw up. Somehow, he managed to get himself under control, the room around him slightly blurry.

The door to his room slammed open, startling Tsuna, who looked up from his tightly clenched hands. Yamamoto hurried in, a worried look on his normally cheerful face. Tsuna froze. He could already feel the cold ball of dread forming in his stomach, even as his heart glowed with warmth. He tried to force his face to smile, instead of freezing into a frightened mask. Sadly, Tsuna was sure his attempt came off as more of a grimace.

"Y-Yamamoto," Tsuna said, voice rasping slightly. His former boyfriend looked relieved for a split second, pausing half way towards the hospital bed, before continuing towards Tsuna.

"Tsuna! You got me worried there for a sec!" Yamamoto laughed, although it seemed a little forced. Tsuna wondered if he meant for him to hear the heavy strain in his voice.

"Ah ha, sorry about that..." Tsuna's vision was slowly returning to normal, but as always, the only thing in clear focus was Yamamoto and the piece of his heart. The blue ice surrounding it was there, as always, and maybe it was Tsuna's imagination, but was the ice a little thinner?

As if it were in a trance, Tsuna's hand moved of its own accord and reached towards Yamamoto's shirt, where he could see his heart glinting maddeningly at him. _So close, yet so far away,_ Tsuna mused. _Oh, the irony._ Tsuna felt Yamamoto flinch slightly as his hand made contact with what seemed like an invisible barrier that prevented him from taking back what was his. He glanced up at Yamamoto, only to find a rare look of confusion on his face. A light touch feathered on top of his outstretched hand, causing Tsuna to blink in surprise and his heart to thump just a bit faster, warmth spreading.

Movement by the door interrupted the moment, and both he and Yamamoto flinched back, as if burned. Seconds later, Hibari Kyouya himself strolled in through the door, looking ever the handsome, aloof teen he was. His eyes narrowed at the guilty look on Yamamoto's face, and Tsuna quickly became the next victim of his hard grey eyes. Tsuna bravely tried to meet Hibari's gaze head on, but his resolve, of course, crumbled and he averted his eyes to the spot above Hibari's shoulder.

"Yamamoto." Hibari's voice held an unseen command, at which Yamamoto seemed to respond to immediately. Yamamoto walked towards Hibari, giving Tsuna the impression of a spanked puppy cowering before its master. It was kind of amusing, but Tsuna couldn't understand what Yamamoto could have possibly been guilty about. Every step that Yamamoto took made Tsuna's heart grew slightly colder. By the time he reached Hibari, Tsuna's heart was once again just a functioning organ, nothing more.

"Kyouya, I thought you were waiting in the lobby...?" Yamamoto asked, brow wrinkling slightly in his confusion. Hibari stopped staring at Tsuna for a moment before replying in an offhand manner,

"You were taking a long time, so I came to see what was taking you so long." _Hibari neglected to mention that his definition of 'long time' and normal people's definitions of 'long time' were different_, Tsuna thought to himself, _because I swear Yamamoto was here for only three or four minutes._ There was an awkward silence as all three people in the room had nothing to say.

"Is that so, Kyouya?" Yamamoto joked, probably in some type of attempt to lighten the tense atmosphere. Hibari continued to stare at Tsuna, only mildly panicking the bed-ridden boy. Suddenly, Hibari grabbed Yamamoto and pulled him towards himself. Tsuna turned his head away slightly, as he had no desire to see Hibari attacking Yamamoto's mouth with ferocity akin to a hawk. In fact, the cold ball of dread now seemed to want an out of body appearance. Hibari pulled away long enough from a now slumped Yamamoto to smirk at Tsuna maliciously.

"Well then, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Sayonara." Hibari whisked Yamamoto out of the room with him, leaving behind one ill Sawada Tsunayoshi. Tsuna stumbled out of the bed, painfully pulling the IV out of his arm and barely making to the bathroom before collapsing next to the toilet bowl, panting heavily.

He tried to stop himself from throwing anything up, but luckily there wasn't much that was able to leave his weakened body. He dry heaved for a few minutes, seeing stars at one point from lack of oxygen. When it was over, he wilted on the floor, staying there for a long time. When he finally bothered opening his eyes again, he noted that the sun was starting to set. _Nothing like viewing the sunset from your hospital's bathroom window, huh_, Tsuna thought, struggling to stand.

Leaning heavily on the bathroom sink, he managed to get into an upright position. His mouth felt somewhat like the Sahara Desert. Slowly, he turned on the tap, flinching when the cold stream hit. Cupping his hands, he drank eagerly, wincing at the slightly metallic taste. Tsuna shut off the water after a few minutes, listening to the slow dripping sound that filled the room.

As Tsuna slowly walked back towards the bathroom door, holding his stomach protectively, he finally noticed the seemingly innocent bottle of pills sitting next to the rack of lotions. Hesitantly, he took the bottle in hand and something like a memory flashed through his mind quickly. _Strength. Warmth. Confidence. _Then it was gone, leaving behind a now familiar headache.

Tsuna frowned. What was that? He decided to take the medication with him. Moving at a slightly faster pace, he limped back to his now cold bed and slid in. Examining the IV, he had no idea how to correctly put it back into his arm, so he decided to leave it out. Just in case he accidentally stabbed an important artery or something.

What seemed like an eternity later (but in reality was only an hour or so), someone knocked on his door. Tsuna looked up, not really expecting anyone except maybe a nurse, possibly a doctor.

"You can come in," Tsuna called out softly, after no one stepped in. To his immense surprise and relief, Nana stepped in with a huge bundle.

"Tsuna! I'm so glad you're alright now!" Nana cried, almost running full tilt towards Tsuna, who blinked and smiled. Nana pulled up a chair and placed her large bundle next to her on the floor. His chest seemed to warm slightly, bringing the world into sharper focus.

"Thanks, Mom." Tsuna paused, wanting to draw the conversation away from the subject of his wellbeing to something more normal. "How's it going with the adoption business?" And Nana was off and running, her mouth going a mile a minute, eyes sparkling.

"Oh Tsuna, it's going wonderfully! I just got notices from the two adoption agencies I applied to and –" Tsuna listened to his mom chatter on quietly, nodding and murmuring something occasionally to show he was paying attention. After a few minutes of ranting about how excited she was about the new kids they would be taking in, Nana finally seemed to remember something about why she was here.

"Well Tsuna, I'm sure all this talk of the kids is a lot to take in, but I've also got some things I've brought for you..." Nana opened the large bundle she had brought with her, revealing a small stack of paperwork and many, many bento boxes. _Yes_, Tsuna thought distantly as he stared at the large pile of food, _many, __many__ bento boxes_.

"This is your homework for the two days of school you missed..." Nana proceeded to dump the pile of schoolwork next to Tsuna on the bed. "Oh yes, your Italian teacher told me to give you this letter...From your pen pal, Bomb-kun was it?" Before the entire sentence had even been spoken, Tsuna had snatched the letter away from Nana's outstretched hand.

"Thanks, Mom! And yeah, Bomb-kun..." Tsuna opened the letter quickly, eager to read the next update from his Italian friend. Nana replied, but Tsuna was too busy reading to hear her too clearly. The now familiar scent of cigarette smoke and spicy cologne wafted up from the letter, sending a wave of warmth through Tsuna's numb heart.

"—Now, Tsuna. I'm sure you haven't had anything to eat. I've especially made all of your favorites for you, so eat up!" Tsuna managed to catch the end of Nana's reply, and smiled at his mom again, thankful that she had begun to unpack bentos and hadn't asked more about Bomb-kun. He refolded Bomb-kun's letter carefully, each wisp of cologne laced cigarette smoke slowly filling the crack in his broken heart.

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><p><em>Italy<em>

Gokudera supposed that he liked making stupid choices. Which led to him being confined in the hospital more than a few times. Usually, these stupid choices didn't really affect others, but this time, Gokudera was sure that his almost successful attempt at suicide (though he was close to being dead anyways, so he wasn't really sure if it was really _suicide_) would have a definite effect on his new friend Tuna. Gokudera was actually kind of glad, no strike that, really glad that he had used the last of his strength to throw the stick of dynamite high into the air, where it detonated with a cheerful boom.

Maybe it was the best thing to do, as help arrived just moments after the detonation. His old teacher Luce had suddenly appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and after that...Gokudera blacked out.

He had awoken in the hospital just this morning, not really feeling in the best shape to be visited. And visited he was.

"Gokudera! Oh my god, are you okay?" "Gokudera, you fuckin' idiot." "Gokudera, another fight?" "Stupidera, you're so stupid!" "Damn Hayato, you look like shit." "Dear brother, I'll make you something to eat later today, okay?" "God Hayato, why do I have you as a patient? I requested _specifically_ for girls only!" etc., etc., etc.

Gokudera could feel a headache forming as he shooed out the latest visitors of the hour, his uncle Colonello and Colonello's commander, Lal Mirch.

"Get. Out." Gokudera ground out, eye twitching visibly. Colonello laughed, and quickly fished out a letter.

"Oh? Still want me to leave now, Gokudera? Heh." Gokudera immediately relaxed when he saw the letter in Colonello's hand.

"On second thought, give me the letter and then get out." Gokudera paused; then added, "Please." Colonello grinned at that and seemed to want to reply, but Lal Mirch (mercifully) punched him across the face and ended whatever crude statement he was about to utter.

"Here." Lal Mirch said in a clipped tone, reaching across to give Gokudera the letter. Gokudera hoped he didn't look too eager to open the letter, but the expression Lal Mirch had said it all.

"We'll be leaving now, Gokudera. Feel better." Lal Mirch nodded at Gokudera, who didn't bother responding. Lal Mirch left, dragging a meek Colonello behind her.

Gokudera tore open the letter carefully, letting out a curse when a tiny rip appeared where it wasn't supposed to be. Moving even more slowly, he made sure the rest of the rip was absolutely perfect and smiled in satisfaction. _Anything Tuna sends me must be maintained in perfect condition_, Gokudera thought, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

Gokudera removed Tuna's letter from the envelope and read it slowly, taking in every word written. _And how are you doing today, Bomb-kun? From your recent letters, I take things haven't been very well, but I'm sure everything will become better soon! Don't worry; just remember that I'm always rooting for you! And before you ask me to clarify what I meant in the last sentence,_ (Gokudera winced guiltily. Okay, so he didn't think Tuna had meant what he said in one of his last letters so...) _yes I worry about you a lot. I'm always worried that you'll do something without thinking about yourself and do something you'll regret. Remember that your life is worth something, if not to the people around you, then to me. You'll always be worth the world to me, Bomb. Gambatte! Whoops, Japanese. But you get what I mean. I'll be waiting for your next letter! Always, Tuna._

Gokudera sat on the hospital bed, staring at the letter in his trembling hand. The world around him seemed to stop. All he could think of were the last few lines of the letter. _I worry about you a lot. I'm always worried that you'll do something without thinking about yourself and do something you'll regret. Remember that your life is worth something, if not to the people around you, then to me. You'll always be worth the world to me, Bomb._ Gokudera felt something wet on his cheeks, and he blinked in surprise. Slowly, he felt the tracks; his hand felt oddly disconnected from his body. Gokudera looked at his fingers. The tears that clung to them glittered like fallen stars.

Silently, more tears leaked from his eyes, but Gokudera couldn't pinpoint exactly what he was feeling at the moment. Yes, he was happy, he was more than happy; he was over the moon and back, basking in the blissful joy that was to be accepted by someone. But there was something else...an odd warmth that seemed to spread throughout him, and made everything seem better, more otherworldly. It was a feeling he had only experienced once in his life, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

It was love. Yes, Gokudera Hayato was officially starting to fall in love with Tuna, someone who lived halfway across the world and was the sweetest thing in his life; who deserved someone better than him, but was brought to him because he was somehow rejected by others, just as he was.

Gokudera found some kind of inner strength within him to stop his tears and promised himself that he would grow even stronger for Tuna. He would become a better person that could deserve to be a lover, no, not even a lover, a friend of someone who had a heart as great and kind as Tuna did.

Gokudera smoothed out the letter lovingly, contemplating the thought of whether to frame it or not while tracing over the neat handwriting lightly. He peeked into the envelope and found that there was a smaller note in it. He lightly shook it out and opened it, another picture falling out of it. He picked it up curiously.

It was a picture of Tuna, this time with an older woman who looked remarkably similar to Tuna, except for the fact that she was a woman, of course. Tuna was blushing and hiding his face in his hands, and the woman was simply laughing. Gokudera's eyes lingered on Tuna's face, before forcing himself to read the note.

_Dear Bomb-kun, ever since the beginning of the year, I've noticed that my Tuna, as you call him, has gone through some very emotionally and physically unstable times. I know that I can't really do anything to make him feel better, which is why I'm very thankful that you're here for him. I know that you live far away and you barely know my son, but rest assured that I can tell you care for him. And I am very thankful for that. Thank you, again. Don't mention this to Tuna, okay? It'll be our secret. Please continue to take care of him for me. Nana._

Gokudera wasn't sure how to feel about Tuna's mom putting her trust in him. Him, take care of Tuna? _At this time, it really should be the other way around_, Gokudera thought, not really processing anything that was happening. There goes that warm feeling again.

A few moments after Gokudera packed up Tuna's letter, he sensed something dark and possibly evil lurking somewhere close to his room. Jerking up, he barely had time to react before someone was throwing a punch at him. He managed to dodge, the fist just kissing the tiniest edge of one cheek. He slammed back into the bed, breath ghosting under the gun pointed at the center of his forehead.

"Reborn..." Gokudera nearly groaned, but managed to control himself. _Be strong for Tuna_, he reminded himself. His uncle Reborn smirked at him from under his fedora, removing the gun from his forehead smartly and tucking it back into his suit.

"Gokudera, how disappointing. Almost didn't dodge that easy punch now, eh?" Reborn slicked one of his long sideburn curls in disapproval. His other hand held a steaming travel mug of coffee, which he sipped at leisurely.

"Reborn." Gokudera repeated. "I would say that it's a pleasure to see you, but it really isn't..." Gokudera knew he was going to pay for his bold statement, so he braced himself for the pain. It came a second later.

"Shit, Reborn! I'm kind of still in the hospital for my _other_ injuries, y'know! Don't need to add to the list!" Gokudera snapped angrily, rubbing the top of his head. Reborn's 'friendly' noogies were just one of the many things that he did to injure him in some way. Probably deeming the statement as too idiotic to reply to, Reborn just sipped his coffee again. Gokudera was sure that if the arrogant man did reply, it would have been something along the lines of 'man up'.

"Gokudera." Reborn interrupted his dark thoughts abruptly, causing him to glance up in surprise.

"Yeah?" Was he just imagining it, or was there an interesting gleam in Reborn's eye? In a split second, it was gone; so maybe he was imagining things...

"Recover quickly. You're leaving for Japan in two days." With that apparently being the message to be delivered, Reborn casually strolled out of Gokudera's room without another word, stroking the giant green chameleon somehow now coiled around his shoulders.

Gokudera could only sit and stare at the spot Reborn was standing for a few moments before sinking back into his hospital pillows in submission.

_To Japan then. To Tuna._

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><p><strong>AN:** How was it? Might seem a bit different from the previous chapters (I've noticed that my writing style's changed a little). Review and tell me what you think (and also if you've found any errors, I'm self-betaed so I don't always catch everything). Also, I'm curious about who you think visited Gokudera from the clues I gave you lol. **One more thing, in the next chapter(s), would you still like different POV's, or do you want me to just stick to one POV, which would probably be Tsuna's? **Tell me in a review or whatever. I'll try to get the next chapter out in a reasonable amount of time...Ciao!


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